In contrast to most people in the UK, who are delighted to hear the news we are having a girl, over here the reaction is ‘oh dear’ or ‘better luck next time’. Apparently it’s much better luck if your first child is a boy.
But when we’re surrounded by this, it doesn’t even matter:
27 working days left until maternity leave – 12 weeks until baby day. Wahoo!
I get tired. Not just sleepy tired but physically exhausted tired. Stairs and hills are my nemesis – I can’t handle them and I’m sure I’ve pissed off many people by struggling up them. You can’t see I’m pregnant from my behind (and this is a good thing!) so I expect I get lots of dark looks from people walking behind me.
My feet have started swelling. There’s nothing unusual here and I have asked for advice from my doctor who has assured me it’s a combination of the warm weather/end of the day/third trimester. But it’s reeeeally unattractive and makes my feet hurt. None of my shoes fit any more!
My blood pressure is going up – again nothing unusual or alarming as I have low blood pressure normally. It was about 110/68 at my last appointment which is a raise of around 5 points. I will be keeping an eye on it but I have been certified by my doctor as safe to fly to Greece on Sunday!
Speaking of our trip, whilst we’re over then I plan on reading my birthing books and putting together some sort of birth plan. After that I guess the next step will be to pack my labour bag…
Baby has turned and she is now head down with her back on the right hand side. I felt a leg (or maybe an arm?) by my belly button earlier on this week and she is constantly poking her bum out at us. It’s nice to be able to feel where her back is, I think she likes us rubbing it.
I have put on 17lbs in total and now weigh 10st 7lb. Pretty good going – I lost a lot of weight last year going from a size 14 to a 10 and weighed more than that before I dieted! I think my metabolism is pretty speedy as I’m still fitting into my maternity 10’s and normal sized 12’s…
…which is great as I am SO HUNGRY. If It’s standing still I will eat it – I can’t get enough. Ravenous is the word I’m looking
for. I’m trying hard not to feel guilty for the amount I’m eating – I feel so gluttonous! I had a footlong Subway for lunch as we’re eating at ‘botanical’ restaurant Saf tonight and I was worried about not getting fed enough. Greedy guts!
Zits. On my back. I don’t want to say anything else about these.
I have another cold and I literally can’t take any more of my stuffed up nose. One of these days I will photograph myself in my Breathe Right nighttime strips and you will realise what a good man Will is – waking up next to that face can’t be pleasant for him.
I’ve been forbidden from buying any more baby clothes; all that’s left to get now is a cot mattress, the BedNest, breast pump and microwave steriliser alongside a few bottles so Will can help out with feeding.
(Sidenote: I never thought I’d see myself buying paper knickers and what looked to me like puppy training pads. I’m going to love the day I put them under our sheets in case of my water breaking at night!)
* the outfit in the photo was due to the fact I felt so crappy yesterday – it was the closest thing I could get to wearing pyjamas to work whilst still looking vaguely presentable. Plus it’s never too early for baby to wear her very first nightclub tshirt as she has the coolest music promoter daddy in the world.
My new badge will be making its debut on a rush hour Victoria line tube tomorrow…
- We’ve had a really sad week in our household, meaning I’ve been slightly absent from reading and writing blogs for a while. My father-in-law is very very poorly with lung and liver cancer so Will flew out to be with his parents in where they live in Greece at the first chance last week. I have stayed at home to hold the fort baby-wise; he wants me to avoid the 24 hour tube-plane-bus-taxi-ferry journey and stress of the situation for the baby’s sake so I am hanging in here being brave. I really wish I was there to help him through it but I know he has his sisters and his mum, my part will come when he gets home.
- Because of the situation I went to stay with my parents in Buckinghamshire over the weekend and had a lovely time. My mum and I went shopping – the Bugaboo Bee + has been ordered for delivery before work tomorrow (a very very generous gift from her and my dad) – and I just couldn’t help buying a couple of outfits in the sale at Baby Gap. I also now have all the gnarly essentials for my hospital bag such as disposable knickers and sanitary towels the size of Wales, as well as more fun bits and pieces like a baby bath and teeny tiny newborn socks.
- My worry has been manifesting itself on eBay the last couple of days and I have splurged a bit – cellular blankets, cot linen, vests, and I at some point decided that it would be a good idea to start stocking up on 12-18 month sized clothing…. I’m sure Will isn’t going to be too impressed at the state of my Paypal account on his return but I am starting to feel prepared. One of my aims is to finish the nursery and have pretty much everything we need by 30 weeks; I want to spend my maternity leave relaxing as much as possible (9 WEEKS TO GO!).
- The bump seems to be growing at an incredible rate and someone called me ‘madam’ when he offered me his seat on the tube last week. I felt about 60, which would probably be in line with my lung capacity right now which seems to be shrinking every day. My pelvis and back pain are also BAD right now, I literally feel like someone has whacked me in the nether regions with a cricket bat. It hurts to sit in my chair at work, it hurts to sit on the sofa, it hurts to walk, it hurts to turn in bed, IT HURTS.
- On a lighter note, I can feel the baby from the outside at regular intervals now. I had a couple of days last week where I didn’t think there was a lot of movement, though now I think she had just adjusted her position and was kicking in a different, less sensitive place. She often moves around my belly button, and I can feel something hard in that area. Either her head or her bum I’d guess, I’m not sure, but it sure it fun to freak my work colleagues out by making them feel it.
- Firstly, I am so relieved to be at the 24 week viability stage! Especially after watching a particularly emotional episode of One Born Every Minute last week (there was a 23 week old baby in the neonatal unit). I feel like a weight has been lifted.
- My sleep has gone crazy again. I’ve had a couple of very late nights worrying (I’m afraid I have to blame this book – it had me concerned that we weren’t being frugal enough) and this morning I woke for the day at 5am having had a particularly vivid dream about zombies. Weird.
- My sinuses, oh my god. On a bad day I can’t wake up when I breathe and by the end of the day the pain has spread from my nose to my forehead and feels like an elastic band tightening round my brain. I am so sick of blowing my nose and earache!
- We took a trip to the hospital early last week (first time visiting the Labour ward!) because I felt like I’d pulled a muscle in my stomach overnight, and the following day I hadn’t felt any movements from Baby H at all. Of course as soon as we sat down in the waiting room baby started kicking, but we stayed to get checked out – anyway. There was a heartstopping couple of minutes whilst the midwife found baby’s heartbeat, but it was nice and strong after that. Baby has been kicking, punching, rolling and twisting ever since.
- I have a big bump! Finally! None of the miserable commuter bastards on my train noticed yesterday morning when I was feeling particularly exhausted and desperate for a seat, but I blame their tendency to avoid eye contact for that.
- My lower back still hurts pretty much all the time. The less said about the better (though I enjoy my nightly back rubs from Will).
- I have gone up 12lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, which feels like a lot but I know is really quite average. I’m trying not to treat my mouth like a personal dustbin (I have eaten what I want, when I want ever since I got over the initial sickness) and am on a bit of a health kick. This means cereal for breakfast, mid-morning granola and yoghurt, salads for lunch and a healthy dinner. I’m still allowed my McDonald treats after my blood tests though… and pudding. And easter eggs.
- I’ve had a lot more bad moods (sorry Will, I love you for being nice to me even when I’m mean). I blame the lack of sleep and sinus pain.
- I have less than 10 working weeks left in the office. Not that I’m counting or anything…
Ever since my bump has popped I’ve noticed real attitude changes in the way people react to me. Aside from the usual comments from work colleagues (I get at least one remark about how big I’ve gotten every day), it’s fascinating to see the way strangers in the street react to me.
Men, specifically ones around 30 – 40, seem terrified of the bump; they back away from it, with a horrified look on their face. One guy I encountered on the way into Pret a couple of days ago practically leaped out of my way, his eyes fixed on my belly. I think this is down to pregnancy being the great unknown for a single man – a stellar example of this is one of my work colleagues who is terrified of ‘womb juice’ as his calls it.
Builders react well to the bump. I get my morning catcalls and winks, though thinking about this it might be the two expanding lumps above the bump that get them going more than the baby belly?
Mums like the bump – they give me smiles and “good mornings” – I like this a lot more than my builder’s greetings.
My mum LOVES the bump and rubs it like a genie’s lamp when we get together. I don’t mind her touching it and have been lucky enough not to get total strangers put their hands on my tummy, but I’ve heard some horror stories about this. I tend to let people I know (and like) touch it because pregnant bellies are pretty fascinating and they always ask first, but touch it without asking and I might have to bite your hand off.
Finally, I think Will is the one who is most in love with the bump. He gets to touch it as much as he wants and he doesn’t even have to ask first. That’s a good thing because I’m going to get him to take over cocoa butter rubbing duties (really helps with the mad itching).
It makes my back hurt, but I love it too:
One of the biggest joys in my life is celebrity gossip. It’s not big, it’s not clever, but I love it. In fact I think the highlight of my career so far was when I contacted Perez Hilton and he re-published one of my writer’s Kanye West stories from Fashion Week last year .
(Please don’t think less of me for my celebrity obsession)
So I was really excited to find out who my due July celebrity pregnancy buddies would be… I was really hoping for Cheryl Cole but obviously that was a no-go. Dannii Minogue was a poor runner up, but she is better than Big Brother’s Chanelle Hayes:
I like Dannii on the X factor, and of course she has the cache of being Kylie’s sister. But I really don’t think she did herself many favours in that furry dress.
You might remember her as the really annoying one from Big Brother. I wouldn’t want to meet her at my NCT classes.
The racist one from celebrity Big Brother. Enough said.
Not a great lineup really, is it??!
- I’ve noticed in the past week or so I am having moments of realisation that a little person will be arriving into our cosy family of 2 in July. Yes – it’s all becoming real. I’m still trying to concentrate on the practicalities of becoming a parent (if I didn’t do this then I’d get too excited, and when I’m excited I can’t sleep = I’m going to have enough sleep depravation with the baby). But still, right now I’m feeling a little bit ‘oh my god we’re having a baby’! It’s not quite 100% real yet, I reckon I’m 70% of the way there.
- Our 20 week scan was fine – although it was at 22 weeks. I fear we may have seemed like the most heartless parents ever as we didn’t get very excited; we’ve now had 7 scans thanks to my risk of pre-eclampsia and have been lucky enough to know the sex since week 14 and watch babies development very closely. However, our last pre-eclampsia scan was 4 days before our 20 week scan so we were given an identical tour of my uterus. I now know it like the back of my hand.
- Baby is still a girl. Excellent! She’s been breech since about 15 weeks and still is now, but I’m hopeful that she’ll turn before delivery.
- My cervix looks great (in fact, it’s 32mm long I believe – now that was something new to look at yesterday). This puts my risk of early delivery at a teeny tiny 1%!
- The headaches have arrived. Once a day, mostly behind my right eye. It’s not my blood pressure (which is still fairly low), it’s not dehydration (I’m chugging as much water as my shrunken bladder can carry), I reckon it’s either linked to my sinuses or hormones. The doctors aren’t worried, so neither am I.
- I’ve switched to using a sensible across-the-body handbag and have been wearing sensible shoes ever since my fall last week – I never thought I’d be self-imposing a ban on high heels. In all seriousness it was a really scary experience and one I wouldn’t like to go through again.
- My mood is constantly good. I wake up in the morning feeling happy and go to bed feeling happy. Its brilliant!
- I’ve noticed that I have to get everything done that I want to in a day before around 9pm, as that’s the time I crash and burn. Once I’ve collapsed on the sofa post-9 there’s no getting me back up again.
- I’m HUNGRY. All the time!
(Go and check out this week’s carnival at Baby Baby – I’m there for the first time this week!)
There has been more of the drama llama in the H household this week.
As I am a clumsy elephant-footed type of person, I was very careful throughout the cold winter and slowly and carefully tiptoed in the ice and snow – no accidents. Goodness knows how I managed to fall over my own feet on Tuesday night and spectacularly hit the decks in front of a group of city boys by Old Street station. Ouch.
I went home for a remedial bath and some comfort eating, after an early night I thought I’d be fine. But the next morning I was having a few stomach twinges and I was convinced baby’s movements had slowed down. I went to my local GP where the not-so-kind receptionist made me cry, and with no appointments I hopped to the Maternity unit at the hospital.
One gruelling 2 and a half hour wait later (they lost my notes. Twice.) I saw a midwife and everything was deemed OK. I was sent home for bed rest (not before treating myself to a naughty McDonalds, shhhh I’d had a hard day) and felt very sorry for myself for the rest of the afternoon.
It was such a relief to hear that baby is OK – I really went through the mill emotions-wise at the time and felt so drained afterwards. This mothering stuff is hard!
Will came home with a lovely M&S meal of fishcakes, green beans and potatoes – yum. He totally surprised me with pudding and presented me with this:
For the last week I have been craving a banana split like my Dad used to make me when I was younger, but could not for the life of me find the ‘correct’ chocolate sauce (has to be dark chocolate!). Lovely lovely Will found the ingredients for me and surprised me with that masterpiece. It was delicious, I spilled it over my lap and didn’t care.
I think it’s about time for a 20 week update, don’t you?
It feels wonderful to be halfway there. Not only have my worry levels dropped significantly recently (thank-you hormones), I’m really pleased that the time isn’t dragging anymore. I’m concentrating on enjoying the pregnancy – easier now I look pregnant rather than a raging Krispy Kreme fan. I’m feeling a lot more like my happy, healthy self (minus the sickness bug) and all is good.
The weekend before last was a big one. Will works in the live music biz here in London, and he had a couple of nights of big shows; Faithless on Friday night followed by Simian Mobile Disco on Saturday. We had friends from Nottingham staying on Friday so dined with them at Vivat Bacchus (OK – would go again for their TopTable offer) and went on to see the show. I’m pleased to report I wore sequins (see photo, me and my gorgeous friend Su who I know reads my blog so here’s some blog fame for her!), drank a special treat glass of champagne and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I got a bit tetchy about 4am as it was slightly wearing to be the only sober party-goer, so a taxi was procured and our group retired. When we got home I went straight to bed rather than taking part in the post-night-out toast and tea/Top Gun feast.
The next night I was treated to a dinner at Gaucho with SMD and friends (I LOVE Gaucho) before meeting my brother to say
‘Happy Birthday’ and bed for 2am. What a partygoer!!
I have to admit, these two nights out plus the Baby Show on Sunday totally exhausted me, though the impending Norovirus certainly didn’t help. From now on I’m a strictly midnight-bedtime gal.
So, here’s a quick bullet-point roundup of how I’m feeling at Week 20:
- I love the movements and kicks I’m feeling! They were awful when I was sick as I had horrendous stomach cramps and they seemed to magnify them but now I’m well again I could lie back and feel my stomach all day. Unfortunately I have to go to work instead.
- I’m drinking a lot and my dehydration is well and truly under control. I haven’t had a headache since 18 weeks and have come to terms with the fact I have to pee around 12 times a day.
- The sinusitis has been really getting me down, in the cold weather my nose just won’t stop running and it seems to have spread to my ears which pop and crackle in the wind! I’m hoping this will improve in the warmer weather and if not I know it will definitely disappear when the baby comes.
- I’m sleeping like a log and feeling fresh when I wake up. It’s great and I’m making the most of it!
- I’ve had some hormonal spots along my jawline. Quite normal, aside from the fact they itch like anything and look almost like mosquito bites. OUCH.
- I lost the 6lb I gained in my second trimester with the sickness bug, but am working on getting that back. I feel lucky that I haven’t put on a lot of weight but have been making sure I get my 5 a day in moderation.
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