The Alice

I write this on my last day as a childless person. The last day Will and I are a couple, rather than a family of three. It’s been a weird day.

Tomorrow we will be arriving at the hospital at 7.30am to book onto the post-natal ward, and then we will relax for a couple of hours before my caesarian section. We’re second on the list so I’m hoping we won’t be left hanging too long.

I am ending this pregnancy at 11 stone and 11 lbs, having started it at 9st 2 lbs. I’m in a different city and Will is in a totally different situation work-wise. We’ve had the worst scenarios thrown at us in the last nine months, and have ended up in a place I never thought we’d be. Yet our future looks even more promising than I had hoped and bar my hormones and the stresses of starting a new business we are very happy.

I want to say thank you so much to the friends I have made through this blog since October – I have had such great support from you all and I’ve appreciated each and every email and comment. Though I didn’t get to hang out with you all at CyberMummy this year there is always next.

I will be back in a few days with baby, and the next chapter will begin.

- Greys Anatomy has been my saviour from Maternity Leave boredom this week. I love it – LOVE IT! Unfortunately it’s a bit of a ritual that Will and I watch it together at the end of a long day, but to his dismay I can’t wait for him any longer. So I’m averaging 4 episodes a day and am currently whizzing through season 5, whereas Will is stuck at the start of season 4. Barring Desperate Housewives it’s my favourite show and it is the reason Will is looking forward to scrubbing in for real at my caesarian. I am really jealous that he’ll get to wear scrubs…

- I have never had Acid Reflux before in my whole life but it turns out that’s what the weird feeling in my throat is. I’ve had it a few times over the last fortnight and thought it might have been something to do with the fact I’m still averaging 2 bags of ice a week, but after a nasty 12 hours of near-vomiting and a Google of my symptoms I have discovered I have the reflux. And reflux sucks.

- I’m tired. I feel like I will always be tired. It doesn’t help when people say “make the most of your sleep, it’ll be a distant memory soon, hur hur hur”.

- On that note, the unsolicited advice I seem to be receiving off anyone and everyone was fine at first – almost welcome. But now I’m hot, tired, and uncomfortable I’m feeling pretty antisocial and just would like people to back off. My body, my baby. Get lost*

- While we’re at it, don’t touch the belly. It’s especially annoying if I don’t know you.

- We bought a car! A fairly new Renault Laguna, nice and safe for baby. However, what initially seemed to be a great bargain from the car auction turned out to be a bit of a money drain to get it into shape (£600 garage bill, £135 for 6 months tax… ouch). I need to keep reminding myself that between us Will and I used to spend £260 a month on public transport in London, not including taxis, so in the big scheme of things it’ll work itself out. And it feels brilliant to be able to hop in the car whenever we like… especially as it’s a fancy automatic.

- I’m still having contractions on and off, not enough to get excited about but enough to make me go “oof” occasionally.

- I’ve given up on my swollen hands and taken my rings off, they were getting uncomfortably tight. I can still wear my wedding ring on a chain around my neck but I’m looking forward to getting both rings back on my finger where they belong.

- Similarly, I’ve given up on wearing anything that isn’t stretchy as even my arms and legs are swelling up in this heat. I can’t get either pair of my maternity jeans over my calves without wincing so it’s jersey only.

- Make-up is also a thing of the past. Who can be bothered in this heat? Ditto contact lenses.

- We’re definitely going to have a baby this week. How crazy is that?

* of course I am far too polite to say any of this in real life and instead choose to seethe inwardly at all the ‘helpful’ comments I’ve been receiving..

One of the biggest joys in my life is celebrity gossip. It’s not big, it’s not clever, but I love it. In fact I think the highlight of my career so far was when I contacted Perez Hilton and he re-published one of my writer’s Kanye West stories from Fashion Week last year .

(Please don’t think less of me for my celebrity obsession)

So I was really excited to find out who my due July celebrity pregnancy buddies would be… I was really hoping for Cheryl Cole but obviously that was a no-go. Dannii Minogue was a poor runner up, but she is better than Big Brother’s Chanelle Hayes:

- Dannii Minogue

I like Dannii on the X factor, and of course she has the cache of being Kylie’s sister. But I really don’t think she did herself many favours in that furry dress.

- Chanelle Hayes

You might remember her as the really annoying one from Big Brother. I wouldn’t want to meet her at my NCT classes.

- Danielle Lloyd

The racist one from celebrity Big Brother. Enough said.

Not a great lineup really, is it??!

- I’ve noticed in the past week or so I am having moments of realisation that a little person will be arriving into our cosy family of 2 in July. Yes – it’s all becoming real. I’m still trying to concentrate on the practicalities of becoming a parent (if I didn’t do this then I’d get too excited, and when I’m excited I can’t sleep = I’m going to have enough sleep depravation with the baby). But still, right now I’m feeling a little bit ‘oh my god we’re having a baby’! It’s not quite 100% real yet, I reckon I’m 70% of the way there.

- Our 20 week scan was fine – although it was at 22 weeks. I fear we may have seemed like the most heartless parents ever as we didn’t get very excited; we’ve now had 7 scans thanks to my risk of pre-eclampsia and have been lucky enough to know the sex since week 14 and watch babies development very closely. However, our last pre-eclampsia scan was 4 days before our 20 week scan so we were given an identical tour of my uterus. I now know it like the back of my hand.

- Baby is still a girl. Excellent! She’s been breech since about 15 weeks and still is now, but I’m hopeful that she’ll turn before delivery.

- My cervix looks great (in fact, it’s 32mm long I believe – now that was something new to look at yesterday). This puts my risk of early delivery at a teeny tiny 1%!

- The headaches have arrived. Once a day, mostly behind my right eye. It’s not my blood pressure (which is still fairly low), it’s not dehydration (I’m chugging as much water as my shrunken bladder can carry), I reckon it’s either linked to my sinuses or hormones. The doctors aren’t worried, so neither am I.

- I’ve switched to using a sensible across-the-body handbag and have been wearing sensible shoes ever since my fall last week – I never thought I’d be self-imposing a ban on high heels. In all seriousness it was a really scary experience and one I wouldn’t like to go through again.

- My mood is constantly good. I wake up in the morning feeling happy and go to bed feeling happy. Its brilliant!

- I’ve noticed that I have to get everything done that I want to in a day before around 9pm, as that’s the time I crash and burn. Once I’ve collapsed on the sofa post-9 there’s no getting me back up again.

- I’m HUNGRY. All the time!

(Go and check out this week’s carnival at Baby Baby – I’m there for the first time this week!)

I have not had sex with my poor husband ever since we found out we were expecting on 13th November.

I am scared that we might dislodge the baby.

True story :/

In other news, 8 weeks today!

Today our lives changed forever.

I took a positive pregnancy test.

Actually, I took 4 positive pregnancy tests.

O-M-G.